In 2018, I left London and I stopped teaching busy vinyasa flow classes. I deleted social media and spent two years studying at Brighton Buddhist Centre. During this time, I taught the occasional community class but really gave myself space to figure out what my relationship with yoga is.
I grew up with yoga. My mum has been teaching Hatha since the early 90s. I used to experiment in her studio, on my own, with contemporary yoga poses (i.e. the ones codified for western audiences) and intuitive movements. Sometimes I’d pop on one of those Putumayo or natural sounds CDs. I was in my element and not aware of any outside eyes.
I read the Bhagavad Gita, the Tao Te Ching and the Hatha Yoga Pradipika. I also flicked through some eighties publications with posers in dodgy lycra.
I kind of knew that I would become a yoga teacher as well at some point. I didn’t talk about it or dwell on it that much. It was just a natural progression.
After getting my BA, I went to India and studied intensively for a 200-HR qualification. Despite the bad rep that these short courses sometimes get, if you have already been practising for ten years or so, it is enough to get you started.
When I came back to the UK, I began teaching in London. I was lucky, really, because it is so hard starting out as a new teacher unless you’re buddies with a studio owner. It was then that I belated caught up with yoga as a casualised yet competitive industry with its enormous digital footprint fraught with cultural contradictions like an OM symbol tattoed on a foot.
It was then that it struck me: being a yoga teacher would be a struggle for me. Not because I am not a good teacher, but because I never wanted to sign up to marketing myself as a brand.
The best teachers I have ever studied with are not necessarily the most ‘well-followed’. I used to pay good money to attend workshops with internationally renowned teachers and would learn more from their marketing than from their teaching. Some are worth their salt of course. But there is a lot of noise out there.
Personally, I know that I will keep teaching yoga throughout this life. And maybe into the next! Over my past two years of reflection, I’ve learned that as long as I have that direct contact with students in a community-oriented class, THAT is enough. I am ambitious in other parts of my life but yoga practice for me is always about the intimacy and the freedom to move without a care that I felt in my mother’s studio growing up.